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May 26th, 2009
06:29 pm - Oh, foot, please don't be vengeful I lifted weights at the gym, drove to NOLA, danced at my cousin's wedding, raced around the Super Dome, and arrived home- foot unscathed. But one sober misstep on Kristen's staircase sent my ankle rolling and me crashing to the platform beneath my sideways toes.
Flip flops have proven more hazardous to my body parts and vacation plans than all the high heels and wine I could twirl with.
I'm to climb a mountain in two weeks! Mt Elbert, in fact, the tallest of the Rockies, second-highest peak in the contiguous United States, 14,440 feet of snowy-in-June hiking
So, dear foot, please, please, please heal quickly and surely. Please let me keep my vacation plans and the eager anticipation of my excited climbing partner. Why would you make me so sad one week after I paid someone to soak you and paint your pretty nails?
Also, I had a five-hour day of interviews for a job at Dell today. Keep your fingers crossed.
I want a cookie, and I'm wheeling around the apartment on my computer chair- keeping my new/renewed injury RICEd.
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May 7th, 2009
11:40 pm - Grrrr.... things 1. My bed is broken! At least, the steel midbeam is bent
2. My foot is swollen! Yes, my stupid, injured foot, the one I busted on Sabra's birthday weekend LAST YEAR (Sabra's birthday is Saturday). I stopped running, started wearing proper shoes, and it's not getting better.
3. I want to sleep, but I can't sleep in my bed because it's causing me so much back and neck pain, and unless I stack pillows in the valley in a particular layout, I wake up successively throughout the night.
4. My rough sleeping situation is giving me weird dreams. This morning, I dreamt that I and several celebrities all had weird super powers that were also diseases. Beyonce was invisible and broke into Demi Moore's lean-to for some insidious reason. Demi's power was affecting her like chemo, so her hair was falling out, and her daughter, a sobbing Dakota Fanning, had telekinesis. I woke up while I was carrying a distraught Dakota toward the lean-to to stop Beyonce. This is only 30 seconds of the dream and 1/7th of the cast.
5. A couple of nights ago, I dreamt that I was being kept in a cage and couldn't stretch out no matter how I struggled to find a comfortable sleeping arrangement. It was like the 13 hours I spent in coach on the way to India. Only worse. My dream self cried.
6. My neck and back hurt so badly, I've been fantasizing about sleeping in a vat of marshmallow cream just to get through the minutes.
7. I spent three hours this morning turning my disgusting wreck of a living room into a Better Homes and Gardens centerfold, but I am about to tear it up by sleeping on the couch with my book and waterglass and so forth. I am going to sleep on my own couch because sleeping in my bed is just that painful.
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March 12th, 2009
09:29 am Dear David Boreanaz,
You were lame and unattractive enough when trying to play a badass vampire. You failed to make the byronic hero attractive to anyone. And now you're on this Bones TV show, with these stupid advertisements where you utter stupid, lame lines like, "handling this machine is like making love to a woman, you have to be gentle." Not cute. You're not enough of an adorable rogue to pull that off.
You have no charisma. You are not funny or adorable or even puppy-dog cute. You fail to make asinine lines like that one lovable. I bet the only reason Bones is still around is that your costar seems pretty capable of pulling off the icy-tightass-but-lovable role she's been given. She must be damn good, to carry your lame performance.
I bet you have an earring, flip your collar up, and wear boat shoes in the winter, don't you, you douchebag? How many trucker hats do you own? You think you can get away with that? You're not Matthew McConaughey.
STOP RUNNING THESE ADS
~ Azure
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March 5th, 2009
02:34 pm - Anyone want some Biotin? I started taking this stuff with my daily multivitamin some time in December, and my skin has completely broken out. My face looks like it did when I was 15- covered in the old pre-accutane, pre-ortho bumps and craters. Luckily, I have been introduced to the world of makeup since then and can hide it better, but this is ridiculous.
Biotin is recommended for hair and nail growth, like some prenatal and other b-complex vitamins are, so I decided to try it out in case it could help my weird, layer-y, growth-averse nails (the layer thing is genetic, but I hoped it would annoy me less if the nails grew quicker or longer). My hair already grows quickly, but I thought it might gain a little strength and body this way.
Results: Biotin failed on both counts. My nails, even with regular, careful attention, are no longer or prettier than before. My hair is the same as it ever was, thriving under the care of my buddies at the salon. AND My skin is completely broken out. I switched facial cleansers and picked up a more careful skincare routine about a month ago, blaming the soaps before the supplement, but several weeks later, it hasn't helped.
I googled the bitch and found out that this is a pretty common side effect, though most people only seem to break out when taking large doses (1500mcg+). I've been taking a very low dose (600mcg, once a day), a sixteenth of what these people claim to take, so either I am waaaay more sensitive to this stuff, or these people are crazy.
Ugh, I am going to need to cleanse this stuff out of my system now...
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January 30th, 2009
01:20 pm - Fourteen Kids? Eight artificial ones? Fourteen children....
What fertility doctor agrees to help impregnate a woman who already has SIX CHILDREN? What lapse of judgment- or rule of the dollar- did that take?
No doctor should be able to, in good conscience, artificially impregnate a woman who already has six children younger than ten years old.. Especially using a technique that commonly results in multiple implantations.
This woman obviously has some very serious psychological issue. She had six kids and wanted another badly enough to go through the trials and expense of fertility treatment. Then, when told that seven embryos had implanted, she declined to have a few of them removed so that the remaining fetuses could develop normally into healthy babies. I don't know what her issue is- the articles say her husband is in Iraq, so maybe there's some sort of severe loneliness here, or maybe she keeps medicating her postpartum depression with new-fetus hormones. But there is something wrong with her, and it was incredibly, ridiculously irresponsible of her doctors to go through with this insane procedure.
When those eight children turn out to have severe developmental defects, it's going to be the burden of the state to help care for them.
And when this woman wears her uterus out and can no longer treat her insanity with repeated pregnancies, she is going to look up and realize that she has way more children than she can care for or even actually wants. And she's going to be pissed that Nebraska put on age limit on it's safe haven law. And the children are going to suffer, as is society, as is her marriage, and as is she.
But hey, why listen to me when you can listen to the medical director at the Center for Human Reproduction in New York? In his words:
"The media should not make this into heroic case. This is anything but a heroic case. This is very bad medicine."
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January 28th, 2009
03:58 pm - DTV onverter box coupons So I am one of 2.6 million Americans on a waiting list for one of those DTV converter box coupons. You know the ones I mean- those coupons that allow you to continue watching free TV without shelling out $50-$200 for the converter.
I got on the list at the first of the year. It seemed to make sense to me that I would likely wait a week or two or even three to receive the coupon and then would have plenty of time to go out, buy a box, hook it up, and continue to enjoy my only source of social white noise while I go about my business. The switchover is supposed to be finalized February 17th.
BUT... It looks like I may not get my coupon on time, and this s due to the stupidity of whatever governmental or media organization decided that the coupons should be good for 90 DAYS. Three months? Who the Hell needs three whole months to get to Best Buy and back (or Wal-Mart or Radio Shack or whatever your closest evil retailer may be)? We're not traveling by covered wagon anymore! Even walking, it shouldn't take that long.
So now, there are more than 26 million unused coupons floating around in junk drawers and the back pockets of car seats, waiting to expire. 200,000 expire every week or so, which means that the 2.6th millionth person on the list can reasonably expect a coupon in 13 weeks.
What kind of back-asswards thinking did it take to decide that every eligible household should get two coupons, that lost or expired coupons should not be re-issued, and, to make up for that little gem of an idea, they should be valid for three whole months? Probably the same person who has now decided that- don't worry- you CAN be re-issued your lost coupon. So no need to go groping through your top bureau drawer! Just get on the waiting list.
This whole stupid plan should have just been outsourced to Bed, Bath & Beyond. We'd all have been surfing digital for months by now.
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January 20th, 2009
09:49 am I miss DC. I miss DC. I miss DC. I miss DC. I miss DC.
I should have gone to the inauguration. I should have flown to town. I shouldn't have let my mom talk me out of it. I shouldn't have cared if no one else went with me. I should have gone and I should be there right now. Right now. I could be packed into some tiny place with a big screen. I could be by myself and completely not alone, watching history. I could be fighting the crowds- as close as possible to the action.
I miss the crisp air and the purpose-driven throngs on the metro and the ubiquitous feeling of involvement and care.
I miss DC and I want to go home. Current Mood: discontent
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January 3rd, 2009
01:31 pm - 10,000 Hours That's the practice it supposedly takes to become an expert in something. What a late moment in my life to realize this... ten years from now is so much further away than ten years from 15 would have been, or ten years from ten... and that assumes three solid hours of practice a day.
And what do I want to be an expert in anyway? At this point, it would have to be a serious commitment. Pick a lane, Azure, what's it going to be? Do you want to be a writer? A graphic designer? A photographer? A computer programmer? A musician? A chess player? A dog trainer?
What avenue do you want to invest the time and passion in, right now, and for the next ten years? What do you want to be when you grow up? It has to be something I can practice for a whole three hours a day, every day.
And lord knows, I am not one for making and sticking to decisions.
And then I wonder- what may I have already done for ten thousand hours? Written blog entries? That's certainly possible... If personal journal entries count, then it becomes more probable that I have been clocking expertise-level journaling hours for years now. A couple more years, and I could have hit expert-level soccer skills. An expert reader, that's certain. What else? What else have I spent such a significant portion of my life working at? boiling water? I don't know.
What do I want to be really good at when I am 34? When that day comes, I want to be able to name my new expertise with confidence, I want to know without wondering.
My new years resolution is to log expert time.
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October 29th, 2008
11:42 am

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October 27th, 2008
11:28 am - Gum and serious illness I love gum, especially the minty, promise-your-teeth-will-get-whiter, pop-it-out-in-squares kind. I can run through a pack in a couple of days, at which point I have to bum from friends and coworkers after every garlicky meal and before every business meeting until I can run by the store and pick up another pack. I know I'm not alone on this one
If you found out today that chewing gum has been strongly linked to Rheumatoid Arthritis, a painful autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflammation of the joints and makes everyday activities painful, would you be upset? Would you keep buying gum?
I wouldn't; I would switch to sugar-free mints or those minty tea-tree oil toothpicks.
But what if there were no real substitute? I might still pop a piece every now and then after a particularly strong cup of coffee or before a close conversation or job interview. I'm sure I'm not alone here, either.
But what, then, if it were linked to coronary heart disease? Well, so are other things, right? But what if it increased the risk tenfold? eh...
But what if there was also strong correlation between chewing gum and erectile dysfunction? And what if it increased the risks of infertility, preterm delivery, stillbirth, low birth weight, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)?
And what if it were also linked to strokes, aneurysms, vascular disease, lowered immune system function, tooth & gum disease, deadly peptic ulcers, premature aging, emphysema, and gene mutation? ... Not to mention acute myeloid leukemia, and cancers of the bladder, oral cavity, ovaries, pharynx, larynx, esophagus, cervix, kidney, lung, pancreas, and stomach?
Would you put the freaking pack of Dentyne Ice down then?
Nah, you'd probably just ignore all this because you wouldn't want the grim facts to impede on your happy gum-chewing enjoyment of the moment.
Have fun being far more likely to die after minor elective surgery.
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October 20th, 2008
08:38 am - Behold: the insanity! W T F
Jeezy creezy! I am all for freedom of speech, and passionately so, but sometimes there are people who need to be smacked upside the head with their bullhorns and locked inside their soapboxes.
This just in ladies: mammograms are dangerous, chemotherapy is a fraud, cancer is caused by diet, and sunlight doesn't cause skin cancer. These are all apparently myths forced upon us by the insidious Cancer Industry and their self-serving, women-hating Cancer Doctors. Also, the government organizations meant to protect consumers are threats to America. Or so says Mike Adams, a "holistic nutritionist with a mission to teach personal and planetary health to the public".
No, Mr. Mike does not appear to have a medical degree (or any formal training), but he reads books! And, to believe his bio, he's made some impressive transformations in his own health.
Of course, everyone knows that Vitamin D, responsible diet, and not smoking are three of many natural ways to prevent the large majority of cancer cases and deaths.
Of course, people also know that eating too much sugar makes you fat, drinking too much soda rots your teeth and bones, and, oh yeah, most cancer is caused by lifestyle choices like smoking and other tobacco use, poor diet, lack of exercise, exposure to harmful chemicals, and over-exposure to radiation and UV light. And yet, people continue to get cancer.
That does not mean, as Mr. Mike claims, that the cancer industry and mainstream media are hiding information from the public. It also does not mean that sun exposure does not cause skin cancer or that chemotherapy and hysterectomy are scientifically unsupported procedures forced on cancer patients by the Cancer Doctors because they are profitable for the Cancer Industry.
This article, and several other statements on the naturalnews.com Web site are prime examples of a little knowledge being a dangerous thing.
Mr. Mike Adams has taken some very valuable core information- many foods and vitamins have been shown to have powerful health-preserving and disease-prevention properties; it is better to get vitamins and nutrients from whole foods than through supplements and extracts; a moderate amount of sunlight is a very healthy thing; diet and lifestyle are the most important ways to prevent and manage serious illness- and turned it into a freak show of anti-establishment paranoia and ultimately dangerous advice (don't get mammograms? don't pay attention to your genetic disposition?)
His ominous and faceless Cancer Doctors with their fancy degrees and evil Cancer Industry kool-aid drinking remind me of the similarly insane anti-choice community's baby-skull-bashing Abortion Doctors with their fancy medical procedures, bloodlust, and evil Secular Humanist kool-aid (black cherry, of course, because it's blood-colored). Calling these people what they are: medical professionals with decades of training and a commitment to serving public health, would ruin the (nut)case against the industries in which they work and the work that they do.
Of course, all anti-medicine camps are fueled by fear. One is fueled by the fear that they are being deceived- their very health being ripped from their hands by a cold and impersonal world. Cancer and similar patients in the various stages of grief may be willing to slaughter the messenger (the doctor) with any weapon they can grab- distrust, accusations of betrayal, accusations of incompetence, refusal of treatment. Feeding that inclination is dangerous.
Then again, individuals deserve access to information, and if it takes the writing of someone who plays fast and loose with medical truths to convince the public that they need to take more vitamin D, eat more broccoli, and put down the friggin' cigarettes, well- long live free speech and the dogged dedication of the paranoid.
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October 17th, 2008
04:22 pm - Before Bristol (and Robertson and Rove and Falwell) This excerpt contains a poignant sentence about the past (and present) use of the term "conservative". Personal freedom used to live on the right end of the political spectrum...
(Slate writer referencing a documentary)
Two years ago, Zeitgeist Films released Mr. Conservative: Goldwater on Goldwater, a documentary produced and narrated by C.C. Goldwater, the senator's granddaughter. In it, Joanne Goldwater tells the story:
I was getting engaged. ... It was actually in the Christmas of 1955. And in January, I—I found out that I was pregnant. And I had planned—I had planned this engagement party and a wedding. And—we had—we had planned to have children. We both were still in school. I was getting my degree. And I—I wasn't ready to have a child. And I got an abortion. ... And this was when it was just totally forbidden and very, very dangerous. And young girls were dying by trying it themselves. My father, being conservative, he felt that the government should not decide what women do with their bodies or anything else, you know. The government should stay out of all that. My mother started Planned Parenthood in Arizona in the '30s. And that's why I felt that it was easy to go to them and tell them. And they were very, very supportive.
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October 10th, 2008
01:08 pm - Ramblings of a drugged, desperate mind... What if turned out that Trig, Sarah Palin's downs-afflicted baby, was actually Bristol's baby, and that Bristol and her boyfriend didn't want to keep it but didn't have a choice because of Alaska's parental consent laws? And that Sarah Palin forced her daughter to go ahead and give birth to a baby who was prenatally diagnosed with down syndrome? And then forced her daughter to fake a new pregnancy and get engaged to cover up the original lie? And what if there were some way to conclusively prove all this in the next twenty days?
I'm not saying it's possible... the whole idea holds about as much water as a sieve, but what an amazing windfall it would be for the country!
Can you imagine it? Can you imagine all those loving mothers and family-values voters who love Palin because of her midwestern-ish accent and her loving commitment to her family- especially her children- confronted with such a narrative? Opposed sex education and forced her daughter to carry a disabled baby to term! Lied to her whole state and then the rest of the country! Lied to you! Forced her daughter and "fucking redneck" baby daddy into a shotgun marriage in order to preserve her own political ambitions! And then lied to you about it! And wants to tell you about the best way to love and raise and educate your own children!
Liar! Hypocrite! Steamroller of children! Slave-driver of family! What nerve! What ruthlessness!
But wouldn't it be clever if the lie held? Bristol could easily claim a tragic miscarriage at any time between the first week of November and her December due date. The thought is sickening. Doctors, come forward!
I know, I know- for the record, I know that all this is just the wishful thinking of a Malarone-drugged mind that loves this country and desperately wants to save it... we are all allowed our daydreams, aren't we?
Today, this is mine.
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September 10th, 2008
11:57 am - I hate what CNN has become (Under a map showing the trajectory of hurricane Ike)
The story
Residents along part of the Texas Gulf Coast were starting to leave Wednesday morning as Hurricane Ike began to pick up steam in the Gulf of Mexico.
President Bush declared an emergency in Texas, making federal funds available for the state to prepare for the storm.
Officials in the Galveston area's Brazoria County ordered mandatory evacuation for one ZIP code and for people with special needs, beginning at 10 a.m. CT (11 a.m. ET), CNN affiliate KTRK-TV in Houston reported.
Perhaps more important to many in Texas, dozens of high school football games in cities and towns along the coast were rescheduled from Friday to Thursday night to avoid playing in the storm, CNN affiliate KGBT-TV reported.
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September 5th, 2008
08:45 am

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August 25th, 2008
12:33 pm - Haven't done a meme in a while... I stole this from LaurenMD, who gives the back story for it.
Rules:
1. Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions. 2. Bold all the items you’ve eaten (I've added an asterisk for the items I'm particularly fond of). 3. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating. 4. Optional extra: post a comment on how you feel about the list
( list )
Many of the things on here that I haven't eaten are things I probably couldn't identify if you put them in front of me on a plate.
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August 20th, 2008
08:30 am - SERIOUSLY? Calif. says green cars need more noise pollution
SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) — Electric and hybrid vehicles may be better for the environment, but the California Legislature says they're bad for the blind.
It has passed a bill to ensure that the vehicles make enough noise to be heard by visually impaired people about to cross a street.
The measure would establish a committee to study the issue and recommend ways the vehicles could make more noise.
The state Department of Motor Vehicles says more than 300,000 of the vehicles are on state roads. Officials say they don't keep statistics on pedestrian accidents involving those vehicles.
The bill has been sent to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has not taken a position.
... ...
But.... but noise pollution is bad, California! It lowers our quality of life, and we've only suffered it as a consequence of urban areas because we haven't really had any other option! And you want to mandate more noise from cars?
I understand the desire to enable blind people to hear a car coming, but noise pollution negatively affects everyone, including the blind. Would you suggest that intrusively bright flashing lights accompany horns to better warn deaf people of approaching cars? It's possible that we'd all be better able to hear the electric cars if a lifetime of exposure to the noisier kind hadn't dulled our senses. There must be a better way to deal with this situation.
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August 11th, 2008
01:49 pm - You can't see me!
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Scientists say they are a step closer to developing materials that could render people and objects invisible.
Researchers have demonstrated for the first time they were able to cloak three-dimensional objects using artificially engineered materials that redirect light around the objects.
Previously, they only have been able to cloak very thin two-dimensional objects.
The findings, by scientists at the University of California, Berkeley, are to be released later this week in the journals Nature and Science.
The new work moves scientists a step closer to hiding people and objects from visible light, which could have broad applications, including military ones.
People can see objects because they scatter the light that strikes them, reflecting some of it back to the eye.
Cloaking uses materials, known as metamaterials, to deflect radar, light or other waves around an object.
Metamaterials are mixtures of metal and circuit board materials such as ceramic, Teflon or fibre composite.
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July 28th, 2008
11:24 am - Stubborn, angry ignorance kills people (but the gun helps)
I'm sure by now, you've heard about the Unitarian Church shooting in Knoxville: An unemployed and angry 58-yr-old man on government aid walked into a children's production of Annie at the local Unitarian church and opened fire on the 200-person audience. Two people were killed, 8 wounded.
As the AP, CNN, and so on have reported, the motivation was unemployment and hatred of "the liberal movement": "It appears that what brought him to this horrible event was his lack of being able to obtain a job, his frustration over that, and his stated hatred for the liberal movement," Knoxville Police Chief Sterling Owen IV told reporters on Monday.... Yet another rendition of, "I am unhappy, so I'm going to blame it on other people, focus my anger on them, and KILL THEM ALL. I'll die as a martyr and take those bastards down with me."
He transferred his frustration to someone irrelevant, seeing innocent people as part of a group that had done him a horrible wrong. But the next slice of the CNN article is really worth a second (or even third) read:
Authorities also discovered a letter from the state government telling Adkisson he was having his food stamps reduced or eliminated, police said.
"He did express that frustration, that the liberal movement was getting more jobs," Owen said. "And he felt like he was being kept out of the loop because of his age."
So this man who focused his wrath on "the liberal movement" was a recipient of government aid AND felt he was a victim of age discrimination.
Did he think that non-liberal Americans supported equal-opportunity laws for older people? Did he think that low-tax Americans were in favor of feeding him when he was poor and unemployed?
No, clearly, his idea is that the "liberal movement" worked to snatch jobs away from white males and dole them out to women and minorities, and, since he did not consider himself to be a minority, he considered himself to be a victim of this practice. And at the same time, he considered himself to be a victim of age discrimination, never connecting the dots between "the liberal movement" and anti-age discrimination efforts.
He demonized the one one subsection of society that wanted to help him- the liberal, progressive idealists that sought to feed the needy and help older people find jobs and fight discrimination. He turned his frustration with his life and economic situation into wrath against peaceful people who only wanted to support and protect him in his doubly-vulnerable state as an unemployed, nearly-60, financially needy individual. This is leaps and bound beyond the factory worker accusing illegal immigrants and foreign countries of stealing good ol' American jobs; but it's an extension of the same thought process.
This man does not understand socio-economic issues. He only understands the simple, rote bias that he was taught, with a sense of victimhood and martyrdom thrown into the mix. If he lived in Pakistan; he would have been recruited as a terrorist, but he lived in the US, so he shot up a congregation full of innocent people just down the road. It's this ignorance and misdirected anger that we need to focus on spotting and treating if we don't want to continue to see people walking into malls, schools, churches, and office buildings with loaded guns and irrational minds. And if we can slow or stop it here, maybe we'll have found a way to deal with it abroad.
And a note from Eddie Izzard: So the National Rifle Association says that guns don't kill people, people do, but you know? I think the gun helps. I think it helps. I think, just standing there, going "BANG!"... that's not going to kill too many people, now is it?
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July 14th, 2008
09:09 pm When Access Hollywood talks about the aggression of the paparazzi, I really want to kick the announcer in the balls twice- once for being a hypocrite, and a second time for being the only non-infomercial on any of my four channels right now.
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